Dating can be confusing as it is, so when you add dating someone from a different culture it can get downright crazy.There are, of course, ways to navigate the waters, communication being the main one.
Germany is a modern, cosmopolitan country, but even in this highly individualized, highly mobile 21st century world, the family is still of fundamental importance for the German people.
Men in Germany prize forward thinking and innovation. Displays of politeness and courtesy are ways of showing respect to Germans, so be aware of your etiquette.
Around 10 pm we decide to have dinner….thanks, didn’t realize we were still eating on European time- I’m fucking starving. I think date 3 is a little soon for a cooking date! I’m sorry, do I have whore/easy/slut/sure thing written all over my face? When he is my boyfriend.” He quickly interjects, “how do you know when you are exclusive?
” I later admit to him that I don’t want to put my awful cooking skills on display quite yet or quite frankly, have him in my apartment on our third date. He adds, “I just want to be somewhere more private, in case we want to get intimate…” What. I quickly, and probably a little more sharply than I should respond, “Excuse me? If that’s what you are looking for then I’m not it.” He takes a big sip of his martini, and says, “well when do you have sex with someone? Do you assume that I am dating other women right now? “I have no idea what you are doing and nor should you have any idea what I am doing.” Silence….
This email was forwarded to me by a very close friend last night, and for obvious reasons I got a kick out of it. All I keep saying to myself is “what the fuck just happened? I know I look good, wearing a black tulle dress, payless heels and bundled in my effortlessly chic, yet somewhat cumbersome H&M cape I open the double doors just in time for a windstorm to fuck up my perfectly quaffed locks of brown hair. At the end of the day I know the answer to all of these questions along with the other insecurities are no no and no. She loves exotic places, planes with Wi Fi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles.
I mean, personally, I would’ve left after the conversation stuck around shopping for more than a minute because I have enough gay men in my life. Dating a man 6’8″ comes with a set of compromises, I suppose… “Shit” I mumble, there goes my freeze frame, music video entrance. I constantly put myself out there only to meet guys like Franz, Hanz, and Shmanz. Questions run through my head like, am I not pretty enough? But there is something unsatisfying about placing ALL of the blame on the other person. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay.
It’s not that the Germans don’t talk, but they tend to stick to themselves unless they are at a party or some other social gathering where the purpose is to meet new and old friends.
So if you spot a hot guy in the supermarket and want to make contact, you will most likely have to do the talking and he may even get confused as to why you are talking to him.
Below you will find some cultural differences that may pop up when and also some general advice on how to deal with cultural differences.