While I highly recommend dating divorced men -- dare I admit that I've done so on two continents?-- I would be remiss if I didn't also share some cautions to keep in mind.
"Our previous marriages and subsequent divorces taught us what's important to fight for and how not to sweat the small stuff," she says.5. "Many marriages fail because men didn't realize that they wanted a woman with certain traits the first time around," says relationship expert April Masini,author of "Now they do, and you benefit from a man who's clear on this."Divorcés' straightforwardness can save you a lot of dating guesswork, adds clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph D."They may be more upfront about their limitations and strengths resulting in less game-playing and time wasted in relationships that won't work."6. Consummating a marriage gives divorced guys a leg up on pure bachelors in the bedroom.
Well, you could find a younger guy who went through a 2004 Britney Spears-style wedding, but that would just be weird.
There are also divorced guys who have never had kids. I find that a divorced guy, who has his own kids has a certain ease around children. He might end up really hitting it off with your kids. Is his breakup any less significant because he wasn’t legally hitched? Again, I’m not bashing the guy who has never been married. He could have always wanted to commit and just never found the right person. But the bottom line is, I shouldn’t be defining who someone is based on whether or not they have ever worn a wedding ring. Maybe divorced or never been married should be treated like a category, a checkbox, just like age group, gender, race or religion.
If you are dating someone who hasn’t been around kids much, they might not enjoy it. Or, he might fall madly in love with your kids and realize they want more. Or, maybe he committed (got engaged) and then the girl broke it off. All I’m saying is, the divorced guy proved he had the ability and the willingness to complete and utter monogamy (Then again, he could have been a huge cheater in the marriage.) Plus, maybe he never wants to commit again. The guy who never made that commitment in the first place doesn’t really get it (the commitment, I mean.) Not that that’s a bad thing. Everyone has a different story, and a reason why he ended up divorced or never married. I wish they had a checkbox for the things that really mean the most, like, “Are you going to love me unconditionally? ” and “Will you always cause my heart to beat fast when you walk into a room?
Aside from the whole divorce thing, he's likely to have his life together (and if he doesn't, run).
He probably has a good job, since odds are, he's been there a while. Your life may be in a constant state of crazy and your mind may usually run in 12 different directions, but his stability is refreshing and helps to keep you balanced amidst the chaos of your world.
Unless of course you're looking for a fling (like him), looking to experiment (as is he), or looking to get your heart broken. Do pay attention to what your kids think of him, and what his kids think of you.
Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse #2. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.
Maybe it’s choice, maybe it’s bad luck (or good luck) and maybe it shouldn’t even be factored into the relationship. ” That’s more important than his past marital status, don’t you think?